A Lot Ado About Having Sexual Intercourse With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a big week for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very first part involves all of us via xojane, the ladies’s internet site went right up by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(I’m serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece belongs to the “It Happened if you ask me” element which existed at JANE magazine and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating individual encounters.

The anonymous writer of this piece, which we’ll phone “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she easily supplies blow jobs to her male associates but does not go out or typically go-down on females, she is, she describes, officially, merely a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally refers to herself as “mostly straight” and “straight” at other factors inside the narrative.) The woman reputation started, she explains, whenever her basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman school — went down on her behalf for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it and instantly fled the scene fearing her own incapacity to do these types of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended duration.

She writes:

“naturally, phrase had gotten around that she and I also had installed and therefore I’d remaining her hanging, which had the odd effect of giving me folk-heroine status. Kelly labeled as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It was like some type of movie conceit where character is mistaken for a hollywood and reaches drive in a limo and remain in a fancy resort as a result of it.”

This evidently entirely exercised within her favor, as she romped about in school starting up with many “aggressive kinds who had gotten down regarding proven fact that I became reluctant to leave a woman touch me.” Post-college, she moved on towards net, where she promoted the girl comfortable standing and quite often found with girls for NSA sex.

Close to the end she problematically explains that when starting up with a lady she is maybe not keen on, she simply shuts the woman eyes and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she desires females for eating her away simply because they truly are presumably much better at it than the male is. She

could

drop on it but “I’m not internet dating all of them, and I don’t believe i might want to have my fetish corrupted by caring for someone adequate to give back.”

I wouldn’t want to sit down near to Ariel on an airplane, but the woman one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she’s merely informing a true tale of the woman life, so I’m certainly not sure what to make of this (and I’m interested to know what you will be making of it, if anything).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Venture
) we’ve
I hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m some guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to get crushes on a single kind of girl: the celebrity basketball player, the football onward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy questioned:

The facts that drew myself many times to women who happened to be same-sex lured? It certainly wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy by what these people were doing during intercourse, plus it truly had nothing to do with a macho belief that i really could change a gay girl straight.

In elements, the piece (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me with this quote from

The Girls Nearby

,
which I quoted in an article about female masculinity
:

“…if we’d in order to make an added generalization about lesbian flavor, it might be that many us are incredibly keen on ladies, homosexual or right, beautiful or perhaps not, who seem like they are able to eliminate themselves.”

The author sooner or later marries a lesbian just who introduced as direct, and he discovered their unique ensuing sexual life to-be unsatisfactory. She refused to give him blow tasks and don’t like penetration but cheerfully accepted their choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless matrimony ended in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he is relatively caring to his ex-wife’s struggle as opposed to labeling the woman as deceptive (as numerous of commenters would):

She had result from a conservative household that would have been deeply embarrassed to have a homosexual kid. She may always have identified, but did her better to conceal it, perhaps wishing that her thoughts might change. Or she might-have-been like lots of ladies i have known, and just found the woman real sexual identity after currently becoming hitched to one.

What is actually redeeming about it essay if you ask me that the writer’s conception of their own sex is usually without any the conventional male posturing one might anticipate in an item like this (he also describes himself as “femmy”). Maybe it just seems that method because males thus hardly ever reveal desiring powerful, athletic, effective women with short hair; but it’s refreshing nonetheless.

I do not mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their stories, but it’s worth pointing out that both narratives seem to drive on concept that bed room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s business, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy skipped, when penetration is actually hardly a solely heterosexual act (this indicates more inclined Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with a guy she didn’t wish becoming with, yet , you never know) and dropping crazy, in the end, means your own snatch but it is additionally about your center and it’s largely about having intimate emotions. Those intimate emotions are what transforms a hook-up connection into a relationship, after all.

At long last at

nerve.com

we’ve got a sweet tale straight through the horse’s lips —
My Personal Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. In my opinion this is actually the first-time the “First Time” series features presented a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, the author confessed to the woman closest friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her behalf, and her closest friend reciprocated, plus they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian connection and they are still with each other now and she actually is a grown-up in the military!

This indicates they’ve however to take their connection from the wardrobe, that is somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this tale had been written before DADT ended up being repealed, even though it just adopted printed, consequently there is nothing puzzling happening here. This is just straight-up nice in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The main focus with the part (and that is really lovable and sweet) is found on mcdougal’s breakthrough of
what lesbian gender is quite
:

We’d never ever come down for each other, and I also ended up being confident that’s what we would meant when we said we wished to make love. (today I realize that there is a lot more to fucking than slurping a female’s pussy and phoning it per day.)

She concludes:

I know that the majority of men and women disagree about what virginity way to a gay lady, but virginity is entirely subjective, plus it truly is dependent on whom you’re asking. Some people might state penetration must be involved, but I think it is doing the person shedding his/her virginity. Easily feel I’ve missing my virginity, then goddammit, You will find!

I’ve invested almost all of the day and afternoon watching wordpress, racking your brains on what point I could make about any of these pieces. I imagined a whole lot about the reason we’d never submit “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about site but cannot work through the reason that I’d worry 50 people would vow to prevent come back right here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would fight with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before the heating death of the market. We pictured somebody submitting “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via mail after which I imagined the article conference in which we’d reach that story and all of state “NO” in addition.

In seeking a point to gleam because of these tales, I’ve made an effort to figure out what you’d believe or say, and I also can not, and I also desire to complete this article as soon as possible to improve the procedure of me personally finding-out what you believe about these tales. Yup, for the first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten little idea what you should say about anything. Therefore maybe i ought to simply ask you to answer — what’s your own reaction to these parts?